It all comes down to one thing: Humility. For the last I-don't-know-how-many years (decades?), we've been raising kids without any humility. Every kid gets a certificate. Every kid is special. No one is humble anymore...and that leads to undeserved hubris. Like white male-splaining.
This is good stuff. It strikes me that just because people listen doesn't mean they hear. Also, privilege and disability, especially invisible disability, are strange bedfellows.
I feel like the younger people are the more grace I give them for explaining stuff because I felt like I could never talk enough when I was younger. I think it’s just been a feature of time that I finally feel like I’ve been heard enough to not have to share everything I know. I’m autistic too so I don’t know how universal this experience is but I can listen now because of the people who listened to me. Also, many autistic people have sharing similar stories as a method of conversation and similar stories can also mean examples and sometimes info dumping.
That’s not to say that I didn’t work hard at trying to be equitable in conversations but it’s just easier with practice and the calmness of not being in my teens and 20s. I think many men aren’t taught that they could talk too much. They don’t get the same messages. Just as white people are taught very different messages about how to have conversations than Black people. For example, it’s interesting to me how many white people can’t do “real talk.” Whereas this is something that’s essential to safety for many Black people.
Re the diva boob essay: have you ever read something so beautifully written that you read it in one breath, unable to breathe because it put into words what you’ve always thought about life (but didn’t know)? I love your way of saying things; have been following you ever since your blog about Fiona xx
It all comes down to one thing: Humility. For the last I-don't-know-how-many years (decades?), we've been raising kids without any humility. Every kid gets a certificate. Every kid is special. No one is humble anymore...and that leads to undeserved hubris. Like white male-splaining.
This is good stuff. It strikes me that just because people listen doesn't mean they hear. Also, privilege and disability, especially invisible disability, are strange bedfellows.
Where is the Lynda Barry quote
I feel like the younger people are the more grace I give them for explaining stuff because I felt like I could never talk enough when I was younger. I think it’s just been a feature of time that I finally feel like I’ve been heard enough to not have to share everything I know. I’m autistic too so I don’t know how universal this experience is but I can listen now because of the people who listened to me. Also, many autistic people have sharing similar stories as a method of conversation and similar stories can also mean examples and sometimes info dumping.
That’s not to say that I didn’t work hard at trying to be equitable in conversations but it’s just easier with practice and the calmness of not being in my teens and 20s. I think many men aren’t taught that they could talk too much. They don’t get the same messages. Just as white people are taught very different messages about how to have conversations than Black people. For example, it’s interesting to me how many white people can’t do “real talk.” Whereas this is something that’s essential to safety for many Black people.
Re the diva boob essay: have you ever read something so beautifully written that you read it in one breath, unable to breathe because it put into words what you’ve always thought about life (but didn’t know)? I love your way of saying things; have been following you ever since your blog about Fiona xx
Thank you for writing this, I appreciate your words.
Thanks for this. I appreciate all the wisdom here.